Perhaps you should wash your hair with bottles of Evian to negate the drying effect of hard water · Perhaps you should tightly drape yourself in mulberry silk bed sheets until you resemble a caterpillar about to burst forth from its cocoon · Perhaps you should fill your empty perfume bottles with sparkling water and spray them directly into your mouth during the work day to assert dominance over your colleagues · Perhaps you should carry a Longchamp Le Pliage inside your Hermès Kelly so you can put the latter inside the former should it start to rain · If you sprain your arm, perhaps you should swap your gauzy sling for an Hermès scarf, à la Grace Kelly · Perhaps you should spritz your bin liners with Guerlain Vetiver EDT, so even your trash smells fabulous · Perhaps you should wear a floor-length Giambattista Valli tulle gown with rain boots to brighten up a dreary day · Perhaps you should pilfer a cargo strap from a local utility truck and wear it as a belt for a recession-friendly take on the Off-White iteration · Perhaps you should cut off communication with the outside world and only respond to handwritten letters · Perhaps you should slather yourself from head to toe in Crème de la Mer to ward off dry limbs
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